His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
