I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
