Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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