You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
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on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
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Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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