I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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