4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
