i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
