He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
