I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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