The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Your penis caused this!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
