It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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