dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
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