i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
