We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
