Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
