Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
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Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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