I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize