you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
