with your own penis?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
my liver is dry heaving
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
