Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
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I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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