fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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