Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You're so nebulous sometimes
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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