Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
