dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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