No, you can still breathe under the balls.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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