my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
sex in a hospital.. check
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
