Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
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His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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