oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
YAS. BRING CRAB.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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