Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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