I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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