Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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