Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
