he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
