She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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