we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
