Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize