you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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