Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
porn star boner night. come get it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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