hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
