i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
