Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
