The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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