i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
