i love accidental penises.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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