Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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