It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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