i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
