Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
