I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
