I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i wish my penis had a tongue
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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