You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
