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It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
