whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Randomize
