she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
