i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
