Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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