she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
