idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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