Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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