is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
