WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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