ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
