Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
