Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You pole danced in your parka.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
