worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
