this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
