Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Floor bacon is actually really good