Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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