Sponge bath it is.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
