I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize