Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
