I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
