You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
