with your own penis?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
