you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
