by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize