From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
