Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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