Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
