I wannas sexs uuuuu
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
