There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
